I used to think that a busy life might be the happiest one. You are busy in the offices the whole week and get drunk and party on weekends with your friends (read: colleagues). But like so many other things, this became difficult when the pandemic started. And like many people, I tried to pause my life till things get better, but I think I need to learn how to adjust to the new normal because as the day goes it doesn’t seem like something that will go away. Or at least, it will take too many of my years if I keep waiting for it to pass.
So, I have finally decided to re-visit things that used to make me happy — reading and writing. I did discover new things that I like — learning languages — how the sentence structures differ, the presence and absence of plurals and honorifics, and the different ways of saying ‘You’re welcome!’ based on the level of politeness in the language. I am still a beginner at almost everything I mentioned, but whenever I gather enough energy and overcome the anxiety of working on something new, I enjoy these things. Enjoy seems like a wrong word to be completely honest (although I don’t need to be honest here). The feeling is a combination of an unnecessarily excessive dopamine rush and the deep satisfaction of having finally accomplished something. I don’t know how healthy that is, but most of the time, it is not as overwhelming as the helplessness and frustration of a day job, so I prefer this feeling.
With that being said, I might be using this place to share my work or anything interesting that I come across here. Why? I am tired of talking to the voices in my head so I wanted to try talking to the crowded emptiness of the internet. So, with that said, if someone ends up reading this, I will be grateful. The chances are that it won’t contribute anything to your life, but you still decided to give me a few minutes of your time, and that is more than enough for me.
I do hope if you go through something else in this space, you end up liking it. I will be sharing the stuff I write or the stuff that makes me happy. It seems a bit like me trying to archive happy things before I lose their memory. With this, I will end my rambling for the day. I’ll be creating another post with the first thing I wrote after the hiatus. Do let me know if you have any feedback.
Lastly, stay safe and healthy.
Love, Ana
